“Not what we give, but what we share. For the gift without the giver is bare.” ~ James Russell Lowell
Yesterday you needed me.
Arms held up, calling my name
But not quite forming your “O’s”
“Mmmmm… mmmm…” you pleaded.
And needed.
“In a minute,” I responded,
Hands scrubbing dishes in the sink.
A family’s got to eat, after all.
So you stood there, waiting
Needing me.
“Mmm…mmm…” again you begged
Banging on my legs just to slow me down,
Because hugs and kisses can’t land on a moving target.
“Not right now, Dear…”
Sure my voice would sound quite sweet
But no sweet words would soothe you, Dear
When all you wanted
Was Held.
Yesterday you needed me
But I kept going, noticing
Noticing piles of books to be studied
Noticing laundry piled up on the couch
Noticing to-dos and calls to be made.
You see, serving you comes naturally
If you’ve got a boo-boo, I’ve got a Band-Aid
When you’re hungry, dear, I’ll fix you a snack
When you need to be changed, I’m your girl.
But the Gift of Self;
to offer up that undivided attention
That thing you need the most
It means a putting down of everything else
And that, I’m sorry to say, doesn’t always come naturally.
Now it’s night; and I can stop
Long enough to notice you
Your little nose, your little fingers
Baby-like still.
But how long you are;
You and I, we’ve outgrown this rocking chair.
A baby no more, but needing me still…
But for how long?
Will you outgrow my arms as well?
Tomorrow you’ll be grown and gone
Your biggest cheerleader I will be
Rooting for you and your hopes and dreams
Friends, I wish, in adulthood too
But I won’t be able to hold you
Like this.
Today there is space on my lap
Today there is room in my arms
I will notice when you try to slow me down
I will say to the dishes, Be still.
Yesterday you needed me
And tomorrow I think you will not
So come… there’s room on my lap today.
Slowing down… it’s never easy. When you do, are you like me? Do you ever feel guilty or stressed out by the piles of papers or the dishes in the sink? You see, the thing is, we are the adults, and they are counting on us… and some stuff does have to get done.
And Marmee’s wisdom speaks to me: “Have regular hours for work and play;” she says. “Make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will be delightful, old age will bring few regrets, and life become a beautiful success, in spite of poverty” (Alcott, Little Women, 1868).
But how to live that out?
How do we do it, mamas? How do we maintain the have-tos, maintain a healthy home, but still slow down enough to enjoy them while they are little? They won’t be so forever, we know too well.
How do you do it?
Loving Them Today,
Laura Jane
That is so the cry of every mama’s heart…how do we do it all? My answer is one moment at a time. One breath at a time…minute by minute choosing what is going to win our attention for that minute. And I pray we will choose to love above all other duties! Like today when my daughter wanted help getting dressed. She’s 6. She is able to dress herself…but she wanted my input. And she won’t want it forever…so I stopped running around and chose to BE in that moment for her. As she was putting on her outfit and I just sat and talked with her she said, “mama, it’s warmer in here when you are here with me.” Oh be still my heart for that moment. That almost missed opportunity to feel the love of my little girl. I pray she will always feel warmth and love when she is with her mama, and not coldness and distraction! The dishes will get done. They will still be there after they go to bed, but every night she lays her head on the pillow she wakes up a day older. She will not be there forever.
Thank you Christa, for sharing your heart, and your story! I love the “one breath at a time” idea. And choosing love every time we can. Thank you for being here, friend:) PS: I love what she said about the room being warmer. What a poetic little girl, and what a special moment!